Monday, December 28, 2009
ok...firstly...merry belated christmas guys...sry tht i had been m.i.a for quite long...even though im bac from band camp...cos i spent...let me count...3 days and nights(not slping) to think abt things ba...ok...u might not blif...but...i dun care...
so u might be wondering wat is so impt tht cos me to sacrifice my slp and think abt...im not going to say...cos...i dunno how...but i try to elaborate on my blog...mayb u can try to understand ba...
all rite...if im not wrong...i think it all started from...band camp ba...i actually was trying to regain myself from the past few weeks' emo-ness...so when i went to the camp...i actually tried to forget wateva is happening outside...b4 or after...forget abt my ps2 my com my mh my frens and
her...i tried to forget abt all and concentrate in camp...
but...not even after the first day...my plan failed...cos on the first night...i received a sms...from wee joon...i tot he was trying to find me and chat...so i read the message...
walao...how i wish i didnt read it...or mayb didnt even receive it...
the message was"can u do me a favour after ur band camp ends?"
i was like...wa favour from wee joon...must be very serious de dai ji...
so i replied"ok..."
next message more jia lat...
it was"can u help me ask ls if she still likes me?"
WTF!!!
i tried so hard to forget...yet i was beaten by...2 freaking messages?!?!?!
then i bobian...replied"ok..." since he is my brother...but...kind of awkward...
although i knew from the start tht when he said he will giv up he didnt mean it...but still...it still hurts...then i replied"as expected...u still like ls rite?"
and...u guessed it...he replied"yes..."
so...i asked on the spot lor...then when u wan ask ppl question like this...u cnt too zhi jie de ma...so i went on chatting with her first lor...then slowly i led her to the question lor...and guessed wat...she said "yes but is bcos of some reasons..." then she said she was moody tht day and asked me to stop asking...
my next thought was...yes jiu yes lor...still got a bit yes a bit no de meh??? u like 1 person...confirm is bcos he de lai ma...still got he bu lai then together de meh???
but nvm...since i knew her style was liddat...so the damage done was quite little only...but still...hurting lor...
then this 1 liddat still ok...cos still got more jia lat...i told wee joon tht i ask her liao lor...and tht he shuld know the ans liao...since he oso got ask ls(from wat ls tell me)...and guess wat...he asked to help him ask...JUS TO CONFRIM THE ANS R THE SAME?!?!?!
i am like...WTF!!! u like her yet u dun trust her and nid me to help u confirm??? y u hav no confidence in urself??? i oso not tht much threat to u...WTF!!!
then heres the best part...i asked him to return me the favour...by asking ls the same question...except tht this time is not wee joon but yeow wee...
then he replied"i asked b4 liao"...
so i ask wat was ls reply lor...
then he said"she said tht u all r best frens only..."
this message looks short hor...but its like a friggin huge sword piercing thru my heart...for tht few days...
then...simply put into words(cos dun wan the post to be too long)...i emo-ed...
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mayb im destined not to be in love with anyone...or rather i cnt fall in love with anyone...since my life started...ppl tht i loved were in bad luck...really...but only this time it did not happen...i tot everything abt my life wuld change...yet...it did not...it simply gave me a harder fall on the ground than eva...shuld i give up? shuld i not? i dunno...i feel tht im going to be sueezed to death between choices...u gave me hope when i was down...trampled over it when i am ok...yet now u still treat me so well and yet...wat shuld i do? i really shuld giv u up to wee joon? or shuld i continue to fight for u even when i am bound to fail?i dunno...i really dunno...
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sounds so dramatic hor? but its true though...im really very tortured now...cant really fall asleep...
DAMN U GOD FOR CREATING FATE!!!!
| 3:49 AM |
